Drifting

Craving some kind of adventure seems to be a constant theme pulsing through most of my recent posts. While this need for something new and exciting has seemed to only grow with time, I have found that acting on it has been a bit more difficult than I expected. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, I am a planner. I like knowing what’s going on and knowing that there is some kind of blueprint as to what to do next, but I’m starting to realize that planning an adventure takes away the whole reason I crave it so much.

To truly start this next chapter I’m going to have to get comfortable with the idea of getting out my comfort zone, and to be honest this terrifies me. I can’t even begin to describe how envious I am of people who can drop everything and travel across the country. It takes balls and ambition to get out there on your own and make these kinds of things happen and lately I have felt more timid and indecisive than ever. While I know that the majority of twenty-somethings are navigating this awkward limbo as well, I honestly have never felt more alone. It’s taken days of me wondering why I feel this way to realize that maybe being alone is exactly what I need.

At 22 years old I’ve never really experienced being truly alone. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been in situations where I’m obviously the only one around, but on a large scale I’ve normally always had someone experiencing the same thing or someone who’s there for moral support. And in today’s society it’s really almost impossible to feel unconnected. My parents are a phone call away and I know damn well that if I text my best friend with and emergency, a response would come instantly. While these things are incredibly convenient, I almost feel like I need to completely disconnect (even if its for a day). Maybe that will give me a fresh perspective.

I’ve always thought of myself as a kind of drifter; moving from one situation or group of people to the next. Maybe its time to allow myself to stop letting these petty things hold me back and instead allow myself to drift into something great.

Stay tuned…