Accepting the Implosion

Last year I had the notion that I was stuck in a cycle that wasn’t allowing me to grow. I panicked, found myself feeling lost and jumped at any opportunity that may get my out of the rut I felt myself sinking into. It took me almost a year to realize that cycle feeling was really me slowly experiencing my life plan imploding right in front of me. It happened over time, but I felt the ramifications of it all at once. Stress and anxiety had me in a haze of “what if” or “what could be”.

I thought throwing myself into a project, in my case graduate school, would solve all my problems but I still found myself wondering “what if” all of the time (and I still do). But I’m finally realizing that that’s absolutely okay to do. You see, in my opinion, when your life plan implodes you have a choice to make. You can either sit back, and watch it destroy you, making you doubt every choice you make and filling you with regret, or you can accept it for the beautiful sign that it is.

I chose the latter.

 I am five short months away from 25 and I am nowhere near the point in life that I thought I would be. The life plan to have a family and a successful high paying job by 30 probably isn’t going to happen for me the way I thought it would. And now, I’m not sure its even what I want any more. But I’m realizing I am in for a whole new adventure of exploring where life takes me. And I really couldn’t be more excited to see where I end up.

My life plan imploded and I had to make a choice.

What would yours be if it happened to you?

xx